Some weeks, the news cycle feels like a Mad Libs game written by someone who’s never left their basement. This is one of those weeks. Between Saturday night and Sunday morning, 64 Holstein calves — each worth between $1,800 and $2,000 — disappeared from a converted turkey barn in Coldwater,…
Category: Whacky Wednesday
Whacky Wednesday
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Whacky Wednesday Got Weird: Shoplifting Confessions, Phantom Warrants, and Python-Hunting Possums
Surveillance technology in 2026 has achieved a remarkable trifecta: it can’t catch people who openly admit to crimes, it relentlessly persecutes people who’ve done nothing wrong, and — in a plot twist nobody saw coming — it’s now being outsourced to possums. Welcome to Whacky Wednesday. The Shoplifter Who Won’t…
Crime
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Bear Suits, Pasta Swaps, and a Condom Crisis — This Week’s Whacky Wednesday
Welcome to Whacky Wednesday, where the news is real but the logic has left the building. This week’s lineup: a man who replaced Lego pieces with dried pasta before returning them to Target, three people who dressed someone in a bear suit to defraud luxury car insurers, and — because…