Guinness World Records has published a list called “The seven records you should set in 2026.”
Not could. Should.
Which already tells you something about where we are. The institution built on documenting extremes is now pointing at blank spaces and saying, please, someone occupy these.
What follows isn’t a list of legendary feats. It’s a list of unclaimed titles — records that don’t exist yet, mainly because no one’s cared enough to formalize them.
That’s the appeal.
Fastest 400-Meter Sack Race
Current record: none
This one is wide open. Officially.
There are shorter sack-race records — 100 meters, 200 meters — timed, certified, very earnest. But no one has bothered to stretch the humiliation out to a full lap of a track.
Which means if you’re willing to hop for 400 metres inside a burlap tube, Guinness will happily watch, measure, and write your name down forever.
Not because it’s impressive.
Because it hasn’t been done on paper yet.
Longest Marathon Playing Air Guitar
Current record: none
Guinness has a record for playing a real guitar for an absurd amount of time, over 114 straight hours. That one required talent, endurance, and physical pain.
This is the imaginary version.
No strings. No sound. Just commitment and witnesses. The only thing stopping anyone from holding this record is the willingness to keep pretending long after it stops being funny.
Which is, in its own way, the purest form of endurance.
Most Potatoes Peeled in One Minute
Current record: none
This might be the cleanest example of what this list actually is.
No backstory. No spectacle. Just a stopwatch and a pile of vegetables.
There’s no number to beat because no one has ever stood still long enough for Guinness to say, yes, that’s officially a thing now.
If you do it, you’re not surpassing history. You’re starting it.
Tallest Stack of Guinness World Records Books in 30 Seconds
Current record: none (timed)
There is a record for stacking Guinness books as tall as possible — meters tall, carefully built, slowly.
This isn’t that.
This is speed-stacking the brand’s own mythology before gravity takes over. It’s Guinness asking you to prove your worth by piling up evidence of other people’s worth — quickly, shakily, and on camera.
It’s not recursive by accident. It’s on brand.
Most Coffeehouses Visited in One Month
Current record: none
This sounds appealing until you consider what it actually entails.
Maps. Receipts. Proof. Explaining yourself to staff. Repeating the same interaction dozens, maybe hundreds of times.
It’s not about loving coffee. It’s about tolerating logistics and calling it a lifestyle achievement.
Guinness hasn’t set a number here because the number doesn’t matter. Whatever you do becomes the benchmark.
Most Items Caught by a Cat in One Minute
Current record: none
This is the only one where the record holder won’t know they hold it.
You can train. You can set the stage. You can throw the objects at optimal angles.
But ultimately, you’re negotiating with a cat, on a schedule, for legacy.
If it works, Guinness documents it.
If it doesn’t, Guinness shrugs.
The cat is unaffected either way.
Fastest Time to Climb the Height of Mount Everest on Stairs
Current record: none
This is the most sincere thing on the list.
Guinness already tracks vertical distance, stair climbing, and endurance feats. This combines them into a number large enough to appear meaningful.
No summit. No view. Just fluorescent stairwells and cumulative math until the altitude adds up to Everest.
If you attempt this, it’s not because it’s fun. It’s because you trust numbers more than motivation.
What’s Actually Going On Here
These aren’t challenges so much as vacancies.
Guinness isn’t saying, be extraordinary.
It’s saying: pick something specific and stay with it longer than anyone else has documented.
That’s the pitch for 2026.
Not transformation.
Not greatness.
Just commitment, witnessed, filed, and stamped.
Which might be the most honest version of goal-setting we have left.